Basically he is a paramedic who was in an accident.  He has known for awhile that he has to have his leg amputated.  He has been writing all about what that feels like and then today he actually had it done…

Check it out here

But I hauled my ass out of bed moaning away and I got myself ready for work…

I drove to work still moaning and then I got to work and moaned about being there..

Then I got sent on stand by (which I moaned about) and while I was on standby the sun rose over the horizon and the entire world for a few minutes was splashed with a golden haze and I could almost see the light spilling out into the world….It was running across the hills like custard over a pudding. It was amazing..

I just sat there and watched in awe for awhile…

It made getting up at 5am totally worth it today

Well my left eye is absolutely perfect and exactly how I imagined it would be..my right eye not so much.

Basically I still have some blurriness in my right eye and seeing as I paid so much money for this I am not totally happy.  Therefore I have booked an appointment next week to have it assessed and see if they think it needs anymore treatment.

I will say the thought of having the eye surgery done again is not something that fills me with glee, but if it needs to be done again then it needs to be done.

After having a heart transplant I guess a small little op like this is a walk in the park…

My dad was more worried about missing the Swindon vs Leicester game than the operation

But just so you know we are thinking of you this arvo dad…

The first one is to go and experience this:

It would just be amazing…talk about being totally immersed in an experience…I have sat on the edge of smaller waterfalls before in Australia, but nothing like Victoria Falls.

This is currently my number one thing to do  in the world…

I just need to find someone to go with me as its not really Carla’s thing (maybe Izzy will want to do it when she is older)

The other is to see the northern lights….I am planning on making that trip on my 40th birthday.

So I hate not being good at things instantly….In fact I often give up on a lot of things because I can’t do them instantly..

Last night was a classic example of my impatience.  I went to my “3rd” ever guitar lesson and came home annoyed that I couldn’t instantly play the song that the guitar teacher had picked out for me to learn.  I felt like a complete failure that I couldn’t even play the most basic of songs…I was really quite down on leaving the lesson.

But then I remembered it was only my 3rd lesson..I am not meant to be any good yet..that I am going to lessons to learn things like this so I can get good, and the only way I am going to get good is to practice.

I think because I have on and off strummed guitars over the years that I thought I was actually better than I am…But I realised last night that I am actually a complete beginner.  I realised that I can’t actually play the guitar and that it is going to take a lot of work for me to be able to do it.

But I am not going to give up…As I said I am going to learn to play the guitar well even if it takes me until I am 100 years old.

I just have to accept that I am not going to be a great guitarist in a matter of weeks…that it is probably going to take me months if not years before I become anything like a competant player.  But here is what I have to remember

I will get there!

Izzy does the cutest thing at the moment…She will see you sitting somewhere on your own and will come over lay her head on you and go “aaaawwww” and then smile and walk away….

It melts my heart every single time she does it…

I guess thats the thing about having kids though, just when you think it isn’t possible to love them more than you actually do, they surprise you with something that just takes a little bit of weight off your soul.

This is proper soul music…not the tuneless lo fi dirge they played at that club!

So this weekend I went up to London for my brother Stuarts 40th birthday party celebrations.

I had a really good time and throughly enjoyed my trip to the Big Smoke!

We got up there in the afternoon and went out for some food.  I received an unusual amount of hassle for having chips with my curry, as if I had committed the crime of the century rather than just fancying some chips!!  Who knew that my choice of dinner would be of SO much interest to some people!!

Anyways we then met up with everyone else (who were a lot less interested in my culinary choices) at a pub and proceeded to catch up and have a really really nice time.  We then moved onto a little club which was pretty cool and spent the time chatting, smiling and drinking copious amounts of alcohol.

It was lovely to have so many people I knew in one room all smiling and laughing and generally being in each others company.  It was nice to catch up with people old and new.

I have only one complaint about the night…the music in the club Stu chose.  I have managed to obtain about an hours worth of the actual music played on the night and have put some below so you can see what you think

Honestly the music was dire….I wanted really badly to get up and dance, but they just didn’t have any songs that made me want to do it.  Every single fibre in my body was calling out for a song that just was a bit upbeat and made you want to go mental to it.

As Bill Hicks said “if you are going to play music then PLAY FROM YOUR F*****G HEART!!” not wishy washy lift music.

Anways as I say that was only a small part of what was  a really nice night and I had lots and lots of fun.

Apparently as well though, going home at 2.30am is now considered a lightweight..Well you know if it is then I am very happy to be called a lightweight!

Oh and just so you know Stu we are going to a thrash metal club on my 40th

Ok you all know my views on Paulo Di Canio and how I am disgusted that the club has him as their manager..But here is the thing..I am thinking of going back to watch football.

Why? Because I miss spending the time with my dad….I miss getting together on a saturday afternoon with him and going to watch football…and if last year taught me anything its that you should spend as much time as you can with the people you love…

I have had some great times at football with my dad and they are memories that I will have for the rest of my life…and I think that letting a little fascist twerp get in the way of that is almost cutting off my nose to spite my face.  I am going back to support the club (not the manager) and I am going back to spend the time with my dad that I really miss.

Now you may think that I am a sell out (and I will admit I do feel a bit of a hypocrite) and that I am compromising all of my beliefs to go to a football match, well that is up to you…but its not the football, its more than that…its about making the most of now, and I won’t let one little fascist spoil that.  You may think I am just saying all of this so I can go to football, but you could never be more wrong.

Some people will also probably say “Oh well what a coincidence seeing as we are probably going to Wembley in a few weeks”.  Well yes it is a coincidence because I am working on the day of the final anyway so Wembley won’t be on my itinery..

I just don’t think I can give up anymore of those times just because we have an abhorrent man as our manager.  I will never ever sing his name and I will never ever support him as a manager, but surely I can still support my club?